Fan Fiction - Krasobruslení - Povídky

The Ten First Times
~by Estriel~
For Katy

When they ask him about his first kiss, Evan says he doesn’t really remember. His memory is horrible, everybody should know that by now – he even forgot his first date with Tanith, after all, and that wasn’t even that far in the past.

In truth, Evan remembers his first kiss perfectly well. Everything about it is crystal clear in his mind... The nerves in his stomach, the heat on his cheeks, the way he clutched his silver medal so tightly it left imprints in his palm afterwards. And Johnny’s lips on his, soft and warm and forbidden, when he pressed a kiss onto Evan’s mouth, still on a high from becoming Junior World Champion.

Evan remembers the first kiss... and all the kisses that came after that. But it’s not something you mention to the media. As for the date with Tanith... he doesn’t remember it because it never took place.


Evan blames his other First Time – his first time having full-on sex – on the USFSA and their room-assignment decisions. Back in the day, neither he nor Johnny were rich or queeny enough to pay for their own rooms and when the federation stuck them together into one... Well, what else could they expect?!

The beds in the room were big enough for two and it was too cold in their room, so it was perfectly justifiable when Johnny slipped into bed with him. Naked, of course, because that’s what they teach you in the army – you shouldn’t block the body-heat with your clothes. Evan never found out when Johnny’d been in the army. He hadn’t particularly cared, either. It certainly got hot enough that night.


The first time Evan said I love you, he was on IV and in fever. Johnny doubts Evan remembers. He was in Evan’s room in the hospital, not daring to hold his hand because anyone could walk in and see, but talking – soothing, random babble – when the words came tumbling out of Evan’s mouth, barely audible because his throat was dry.

After that, Johnny was worried sick, because he didn’t think Evan the type to mention love, not even in delirium, not unless he thought it might be too late the next moment. He worried so much that he skated like crap and possibly lost an Olympic medal. Evan – the bastard – somehow pulled himself together for the free and even placed ahead of Johnny. It was then that Johnny wondered whether it was all a ploy, but, in the end, he forgave Evan, because even though Evan didn’t remember what he’d said, Johnny did and chose to believe that it wasn’t a lie.


The first time Johnny breaks up with him, Evan doesn’t believe him and simply ignores this new development in their relationship, because it’s Nationals and Evan has just won Johnny’s title. He gathers Johnny in his arms and lets him cry and listens to his promises of just wait till Worlds, till next year.


The first time Johnny hears The Rumor, the one about Evan and Tanith, he bitchslaps Evan, then proceeds to give him what turns out to be the best orgasm of his life. He calls Tanith afterwards to inform her that he’ll be sending her a strap-on for her birthday, so Evan doesn’t suffer withdrawals when Johnny’s not around to fuck him.


The second time Johnny breaks up with him, Evan has no choice but to accept it, because it’s all his fault. He’s just cheated on Johnny for the first time – no, he never actually fucked Tanith! – as revenge for Cup of China. Evan later regrets it, cursing himself, when he’s falling asleep alone at a shared event for the first time since he and Johnny “officially” got together.


The first time he sees Johnny kiss Stéphane Lambiel, Evan can’t decide who he hates more – Lambiel, Johnny, or himself. It hurts especially bad because it’s Worlds and – just like in Sofia all those years ago – he got the silver and saw Johnny shine with the gold around his neck.

He doesn’t feel the urge to go get revenge this time, no. First, there’s no reason for revenge when he and Johnny aren’t even dating anymore. Second, Evan’s learned from his mistake... and the way Lambiel presses himself up against Johnny, hands all over him, makes it even clearer to Evan just how huge a mistake it had been.


The first time Evan punches Stéphane, Johnny almost finds it flattering – they are fighting over him, after all, and that is SO romantic.

When Evan makes Stéphane’s nose bleed – and pisses him off for real – Johnny begins to wonder if there’s maybe something book authors don’t tell about the nature of romance. Like that it’s brutal, for Stéphane bodychecks Evan so hard that he gasps at the impact and loses his balance. They tumble down, land on the floor... and on Evan’s hip.

“Evan!” Johnny shrieks, terrified, because he knows all about Evan’s hip, because he’s been there, countless times, when Evan cried in pain at night – quietly, in the futile hope Johnny wouldn’t hear.

He springs into action to prevent any further fighting, but it turns out unnecessary. The moment he goes down on his knees to help Evan sit up, Stéphane deflates like a popped balloon and all the rage seems to have left him.

He heaves a sigh and wipes the blood from his nose, then turns to leave before Johnny can even offer an apology. Not that it matters, because Johnny doubts it would have been enough or that Stéphane would have accepted it.

He turns to Evan instead, gentle fingers on his hip. “You fucking idiot,” he says, but what he really means are the other three words.


The first time Johnny says I love you, it’s the middle of the night and his voice is but a whisper in the dark, a hot breath against Evan’s nape. Evan lies still for a moment, wondering whether to let Johnny know that he’s, in fact, still awake, that he’s heard, and if Johnny will actually even remember it in the morning. In the end, he decides that he won’t let Johnny forget, that he doesn’t want that to happen, ever. He turns around and – finding Johnny’s hand in the dark – whispers back: “I love you, too.”


The second time Evan says I love you, Johnny doesn’t point out that he already told him, that he already knows. Evan’s memory is horrible, after all. And for once, Johnny doesn’t even mind.


Thanks for the beta, Reet!

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