Fan Fiction - Krasobruslení - Povídky
It had always been the three of them. She, Johnny, and Sasha. They went shopping, they spent evenings together whenever they met at a competition and once the skating was done, they talked on the phone.
Tanith misses that now. She can’t hang out with Johnny that much anymore, of course, because it would look weird – fraternizing with the enemy, people would call it. It wasn’t Johnny she missed the most, though, when she thought about the “good old times”. It was Sasha. She missed the way Sasha made her laugh and the way she always had advice when it came to colors – Tanith realizes just how much she misses that when she dyes her hair brown and ends up hating it.
That one time, it was just Johnny and her, because Sasha had gone to Europe. They shopped and then sat down for coffee, just like they always did with Sasha. That day, Johnny told her. I like boys, he said with a blush and stared at the slowly dissolving puff of foam in his latte. As if she hadn’t guessed all along.
She was silent for a moment, she didn’t say me too, because she didn’t really think about boys. She didn’t say I like girls, because she never really thought about them, either – even today, Tanith probably wouldn’t use that phrase, because it’s not like she likes girls, she just likes one.
Who do you like? she asked instead and smiled, because – in Tanith’s opinion – it was perfectly alright to like boys.
Johnny leaned over the table and whispered a name into her ear, turning even redder.
Tanith sometimes wonders if Johnny still likes him now. If he still would if he knew what it was like to actually date Evan. She’s not even sure if she likes him anymore, if she ever truly enjoyed dating Evan.
It’s usually just Evan and her these days. Evan likes shopping, too, but it’s not quite the same, because – unlike Sasha and Johnny – Evan gets bored when he has to wait for Tanith while she tries on clothes. He usually doesn’t have much advice for her, either, no helpful comments about color or fit or the way her butt looks in a pair of jeans. She likes the looks they get as she strolls down the street with Evan, though, his arm slung casually around her shoulders. They look so good together, the perfect couple. Tanith wishes their relationship would feel at least half as good as it looks.
Tanith thinks about Sasha rather often since that night in Torino, when they celebrated their silver medals together. She imagines Sasha’s body would feel much softer than Evan’s pressed up against hers, even though her muscles are as firm as his, or everybody else’s in the sport, really. She wonders if Sasha would like what Tanith could do to her – Tanith is really good with her tongue, or at least Evan says so. But Evan probably isn’t the ideal source of information, Tanith is afraid, considering his limited knowledge on women’s pleasure. Tanith sometimes doubts Evan has ever been with a girl before he started sleeping with her. But she never asks him about it, because she’s afraid she might not like the answer. She might have to break up with him if she learned the truth, because where’s the point in dating a gay boy? Besides, she’d feel like a traitor if she asked, because how would he feel if even his own girlfriend questioned his sexuality?! Tanith sometimes wishes Evan would leave her and go date Johnny – or some other guy – instead, because that would give her fantasies the freedom to fly. So free.
On the other hand, it’s probably good that the wings are kept in chains, Tanith muses as she thinks back to that night in Torino.
Sasha was a little disappointed with her silver. Tanith was very overwhelmed with hers. It was just the two of them when they went out – Tanith wasn’t with Evan yet, Ben was too drunk to move already, and Johnny was at the Russia house to drown his fifth place in vodka.
They both got a little drunker than usually, because this was the Olympics, after all. The medal around her neck and the alcohol in her bloodstream made Tanith bold – and stupid, as she later concluded. One moment, they were laughing about something silly, the next, Tanith’s mouth was on Sasha’s, carelessly smearing their lipsticks. She’s not sure what made her believe that Sasha’s lips would open for her tongue to slip in. Sasha pulled away, speechless. They didn’t speak a word as they hauled a cab a few minutes later and let it take them back to the Olympic village.
Tanith sometimes wonders what Sasha’s mouth would have tasted like after all those fruity cocktails they had that night. Like an alcohol-induced dream, probably. Tanith will never know for sure. She’ll never know what kissing a girl feels like, either, because there aren’t any girls other than Sasha she’d like to try with. Ever since that night, Tanith knows things will never be the same again – never just her and Sasha again, never even the three of them. The ghost of that night will always be hovering around Tanith, a silent companion she’ll never break up with.